Birds of a Feather

Today, I decided to take a note out of my fiance's book ( PS check out his blog, link over there>>>) and write about marriage instead of the wedding. While both are important, the marriage definitely takes the cake. Recently, I was reflecting on the reasons why I had chosen to marry William. They are so numerous and easy when I look at our companionship and the attraction and affection that I feel for him and he feels for me. But objectively, why am I marrying him? Sometimes when I think about things like this, I like to reflect on what I would want for my sister, one of my best friends or my sorority sisters. Just the other day I was doing some searching for a beau for a friend and I was surprised by the criteria other people were throwing into the conversation. Well dressed, jocky, cocky, tall, likes to go out, nice, a good person, someone I can get along with. What is it exactly that women should be looking for?

First and foremost, I am very attracted to William. The day I met him I knew I was going to marry him. Attraction is essential. We are very silly together and he knows the most intimate details and secrets of my heart. He always opens doors for me, helps me with everything he is able to, makes me laugh, stimulates my mind, keeps me engaged in conversations, regularly sends me flowers, polishes away my rough edges, and puts up with my silly shenanigans. These were excellent reasons to date him, to make him my friend and to invest so much time with him. But looking at these reasons, I consider them weak reasons to get married. 

I was reflecting and praying the other day about friendships I have had that were very intimate and special and close to my heart, and how those people were some of the best friends I had ever had but the friendship had fizzled out. People say you should marry your best friend, and while I happen to be lucky enough to be marrying mine, I still don't think the bonds of our friendship are the reason or the basis for a lasting marriage. 

Friendships and attractions fade. Mediocrity, while it should always be battled, ultimately sinks into our life without our noticing.  I had this wonderful friend that told me a story about a friend of a friend. After a heated argument, this lady's five year old daughter asked her how she knew her daddy was never going to leave her. The mother just smiled and said, "Because I know your daddy loves Jesus more than he loves me." 

It is really simple and kind of cliche to say to marry a good Christian. While that is something I wanted for myself, for my sisters and for my friends but I want more than that for them. Marrying for virtue and for a hard line relationship with God and dedication to the good is the most important aspect. Even for my non Christian friends I would encourage you to find a man that has a strong understanding and definition of "the Good" and realizes the difference between right and wrong and is not drowning in relative BS.  Attraction, friendship, laughter, sweetness, affection, and intelligence are all nice perks but the reason and basis of my confidence in marrying William, is his dedication to the Lord and his constant pursuit of the Good. When our bubbling conversation grows into comfortable silence, when the newness and shyness of our bodies fade, when the flowers stop, and we eventually begin to wear on each others nerves, I can trust that William will do the right thing, the honest and good thing. That every Sunday come hell or high water he will be at Mass, and that no matter what, this marriage is until one of us is put in the ground. Marry a man of integrity, with an understanding and dedication to the Good. 

That's what I think. Let me know what you think. I would love to hear it.